So, one of my very best friends is having a baby. It seems totally crazy to me- I mean when on earth did we all grow up? She must be more of a grown up than I am because I can barely remember to feed myself, let alone remember feed another human being. This is a typical weekend afternoon in my house or on my days off... (Wait, what are days off again? Something you don't get at my job or when you become a parent!) Here's the scene...
Mr. Wright: "Whitney, it's almost 3 o'clock, have you had lunch yet?"
Me: "Huh, what? Lunch, it's not lunch time."
Mr. Wright: "Yeah, I know. Lunch was like 3 hours ago. Did you eat breakfast?"
Me: "Umm... no. I just forgot it was time to eat I guess."
Umm, so yeah. I suck at feeding myself. Sometimes i just don't feel like packing a lunch, so I'll scrounge up an applesauce that has been in my desk for months or something like that. So, yeah. I would totally suck at feeding another human being. Don't forget- I love to cook, but it's totally different to whip up a delicious Chicken Picatta (yum, what we had tonight!) I don't know what would be worse though- not feeding the baby or trying to explain to a doctor how my baby got a caper stuck in his/her nose at 1 month old. I am great at feeding the dogs though- I just throw some food on the floor and we're good!
So, that's right, Kate will have to teach me how it's done. Funny story as a side note: When Kate and Jon got close to their wedding I suddenly learned about the show Jon and Kate plus 8. And their last name is Kate's mom's maiden name. I was like, "Oh my god, please don't let this be a sign that they're going to have 8 kids!" Now I really don't want them to be like J & K... because then Jon will be getting a rabbi, a younger woman and become a fan of Lindsey Lohan's dad- and based on how she ended up I can only imagine what a screwball he is. I'm not worried one little bit though, because we're all from Maine and screwballs aren't raised in Maine. Wait, I retract that statement. BUT I know that Kate and Jon will be such happy little parents and won't end up on some crazy reality show for two reasons: they're normal, well adjusted people, they're smart and in love. Okay so that was three, and here's one more for good measure: she teaches and she knows she'd be crazy to deal with 8 kids! All that pressure is probably why J&K+8=divorce. Who can handle that many freaking kids? (Someone on Prozac, maybe. And that's a big MAYBE.) No matter how many little mouths are chomping at the bit, as a woman I know motherhood is the best gift you could ever get, aside from great family and friends. I can't wait until I am ready for that next step. In the meantime, Kate, if you decide to have 8 kids I will eat my words. (If I remember to eat...)
So anyway, back to how I couldn't manage a baby- here's the devil's advocate part. Probably once she has her (she's having a little girl in January named Hannah) I will want a baby of my own to dress up and cuddle and to take shopping. Thank goodness I will have hers to play with, she will just need to bring her down from NY to visit! So off the tangent and back to my point. (Wait girl, you had a point? Yes people, I did have a point!)
I have been shopping. I am excellent at it. No really, just ask my checking account. So I have been looking at all sorts of cute little outfits- but in the stores I am just not finding exactly what I want. I want polka dots! Anyhow, on my search I found these, and although they don't fit my polka dot criteria they are a-d-o-r-a-b-l-e. (Yes I had to annunciate it that way.) When I have a baby (in like 5 years- maybe I will learn to feed myself by then!) or my sister has one (which had better be in like 8 years and she will need to learn to cook more than Easy Mac) our babies will totally be rockin' these:
You can find them @ http://theretrobaby.com along with a lot of other rockin' and groovy baby items. I mean god, who doesn't want their 3 month old to rock a Dead t-shirt or a Stones shirt? I mean you'd be crazy if you couldn't find something on that site, then again, "You can't always get what you want..." ;)
I didn't get anything for Kate on here, although she is an elementary school teacher and would totally appreciate the Seuss reference (what's up with all the totallys tonight... or is it totallies?), I think that this style probably suits someone who is, well, crazier, like me. But then I could be wrong. I mean every baby looks totally adorable in pink frills, but maybe that babe wants to be a little more Seussical sometimes? :) Anyway, here's a hint. If you get one for me one I will definitely cut a little tail hole and have Asia wear it. (She's a size 0-3 months.) Kidding, but no, really, I will stuff it away in my closet along with the adorable Ralph Lauren dresses I bought for the girls I am going to have one day. How could I pass up some clearance Ralph Lauren dresses? I would have been totally (there's that word again) crazy to leave them on the rack! I better pray to God that I have girls, because that's what I've been stocking up for.
Here's my prayer: Dear God, It's me Whitney. (Don't laugh it's how I start every prayer.) Please let me have a girl, otherwise my boy will look really, well, gay. I mean a little boy in a bright green dress with a fuschia satin belt with green horses? Not so boyish. So please, just give me a little girl. Oh and also, could you make sure that the elastic stays elasticy, since I got the dress 3 years ago? Thanks so much. Love, Whitney
Yes, I know, I'm crazy.
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