I'm not talking about the cute furry spotted type of cougars, although they will dress up like a cat if you want them to! I am talking about the cougars like Courtney Cox portrays in her show Cougar Town. (This is a great show, by the way!) They are woman usually 40 or older that dress like they're 20, dirty dance with 20 year olds and are made of plastic just like Barbie and her over sized plastic "ta tas." Wasn't it bad enough that we have "sugar daddies" that thought they were Hugh Hefner?
The reason why I bring this up is we went to a Halloween party last and it was crawling with cougars and wannabe Hef's. Well, not like crawling, but there were just enough to be noticed. The first encounter I had was with a woman dressed as a cat, go figure, huh? She asked Mr. Wright what his name was, and when he said Abel she didn't believe him. (He was dressed as Caesar so maybe she thought he was just being funny.) So she pulls him close and purrs, "Well, you know my name is kitty cat." She then went on to complain about how the old dude dressed like a pimp kept grinding on her. When asked how she knew the people throwing the party she started out a long drawn out story about her children, the grocery store, how in her fake life she was a cat or something crazy, turns out she had no idea who was having the party. Mind you, this wasn't a big party- we all pretty much knew each other. When one of the hosts came over she started grabbing his ass, talking about how her husband was outside. Needless to say, we ditched, say it with me in a seductive purr, kitty cat.
After this little incident the party's host began telling me a story about the other cougar in the room who was dressed in a skanky little outfit as something sporty. The only sport she plays is chase the young boys... maybe she could be a priest... ouch that was bad, sorry. If you're Catholic do a couple of Hail Mary's for me and we should be cool. So anyway, back on track, he was telling me how in a moment of idiocy (or drunkenness) he made out with her. When he came to his senses and saw her wrinkles and felt her plastic breasts he feigned a stomach ache and asked her to leave him alone. She didn't let up- asking him to "give it to her"- at which point he probably would have faked H1N1 if he could. So this is weeks later and she's still telling her co-worker (who was the party hostess) that she wanted him badly.
They say we are young and stupid in our 20's- that we just don't get things- well, that cougar didn't get it. She looked desperate and not like a hot Eva Longoria housewife desperate.
And don't even get me started on the old pimp and the corpse. (He really would be dead if some of the guys had seen him reaching up their girlfriends skirts!) Nonetheless, at the end of the night kitty cat was grinding with the old pimp. Sporty spice, aged 20 years, was alone and pining. It was pining probably just like when she in high school and had a thing for her cute math teacher.
So here is my question, why do these women want these young guys? Sure it makes you feel young, but from personal experience I know that men my age are broke, drink cheap ass beer, could probably go weeks without doing laundry- do they really want another child to take care of? I mean really, didn't they just get their sons out of the house? I guess the truth behind it all is we always want we can't have. We want to be older, we want to be younger- we want everything we can't have or already had at one point in time. I can't wait to grow up and be a cougar :) Kidding! Anyhow, it continues to make me laugh and I'll keep watching Cougar Town because Courtney Cox is a pretty hot cougar. :)
I haven't laughed this hard in a long time - keep up the good work - HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF WRITING A BOOK?
Posted by: Lucy-Ann Spaulding | 01 November 2009 at 04:04 PM